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The skill of listening needs to be regained, says Gabe Lyons, co-author of UnChristian and guest of this week’s ThinkFwd interview hosted by Spencer Burke. Lyons believes this generation is ready—open to learning from each other at a heart-level without expectations of immediate results, and without needing to control the direction of the conversation.

How do we learn? Gabe believes that exposure is the key to learning. If we don’t expose ourselves to new ideas and to people with differing opinions, and become aware of their thoughts and how they arrived at those thoughts—we can’t learn. We need new experiences and new places to open up our brains so we can hear and learn from others.

Spencer and Gabe talk about the motivators for conversation with others—is it fear? Protectionism? Gabe suggests that we must come from a place of humility and not try to be protective or assume that we’ve got it all figured out. “God made a lot of smart people,” says Lyons. “I don’t need to fear listening to other ideas and opinions, because at the end of the day, my confidence is in Christ, and the fact that the gospel is true.” A self-righteous viewpoint is not consistent with the gospel.

Spencer asks about funding—how is Lyons able to fund his various projects—and what is on the horizon for new projects? Gabe responds that what they do has to have real value to people. The resources and experiences they provide must be quality, excellent and needed—so much so that people will pay for them. As for new projects, he’s working on a new book about what it means to be a Christian in the West. He is exploring what it might look like to be a western Christian that is credible to their neighbors and friends, and at the same time faithful to the gospel. Stay tuned . . .

Personal Reflections:

1. If you could invite four people who wouldn’t agree on everything to the table—who would you invite and why?
2. How can I add real value to a present project, group or learning experience I’m involved in?

Small Group or Staff Questions:

1. Share a new experience or resource that has opened your mind to new ideas. What did you learn about humility, awareness, or different opinions?
2. What would it take for our community to be known more for what we support, are open to, and encourage rather than what we disagree with or exclude?

2 Responses to “Gabe Lyons – Learning from Those Unlike You”

1. Chris Says:
   August 20th, 2009 at 8:05 am

   I believe that Gabe’s advice encouraging people to learn how to listen to others not so like themselves is a crucial need of our time. In a culture where so many Christians (and other types of people, as this phenomenon pervades much more than just one religion but other realms of experience as well) think that they are the only ones that are “right,” many are staying away from churches because those in different churches claim to have infallible knowledge of God. Many are even leaving churches as well, as they are finding it difficult to survive in places where they are expected to believe or become a certain way which doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense to them. One seems to be very fortunate if they are a one-way kind of thinker in many churches these days. But if you are not, and people find out about it, then watch out. The consequences are very real and can present themselves in very harsh ways. If you can’t already tell, I am speaking from actual experience.

2. Jim Says:
   August 21st, 2009 at 12:47 pm

   Thanks, Spencer, for a great interview on a critical subject. Several years ago when I was teaching in seminary, I taught a class on friendship and christian mission and ministry. Part of what drove the class was the question of why it was that people were not turning to the church (and this in a part of the country that might well be characterized as the Bible Black Belt!)

   So I assigned the students the task of going out and finding a non-believer and asking him (or her) about his life, what he believed, what drove his life, etc. and why he was not interested in the church.

   My only requirement was that the student simply listen and at the most facilitate the conversation with inviting questions.

   One student, who worked in a church as a youth minister in addition to working in the seminary, immediately replied: “I don’t know any non-believers!” (Imagine that…a student in a seminary!)

   When the students came back after the assignment they were absolutely on fire. (I felt like saying: “I saw Satan falling like lightning!” )As we discussed the experience a couple of things emerged: (1) to the student each one had a positive experience, (2) to the student each one reported that the interviewee responded in gratitude for engaging them in the conversation, & (3) to the student, it had never occurred to them that listening was itself a missional practice.

   I’ve been in ministry for almost 40 years and can tell you from years of experience: (1) there are people who are born, live a long life and die never having been listened to and (2) when folks believe that you really want to hear them, both in what they say and in what they do not say, they will beat a path to you and always look forward to seeing you.

   There is no ministry more powerful than the ministry of listening! Thanks again for the interview and the opportunity to share.

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